By Ashley Murphy, MS, MA
LEND Trainee, Psychology
Every child has moments where they struggle to regulate themselves. In fact, we all struggle to regulate ourselves from time-to-time, regardless of our age. While all caregivers and children deserve support with managing behavior and emotions, children with developmental disabilities and their caregivers require special attention.
Children with developmental disabilities have high rates of disruptive or harmful behavior, such as aggression or self-injury. In addition, caregivers of children with disabilities report challenging behavior as one of their top stressors, often influencing their higher-than-average levels of stress and impacting their overall wellbeing. Researchers have identified a variety of factors that influence the presence of challenging behaviors, including a child experiencing communication difficulties, having difficulty responding to sensory inputs, and managing health issues that make them feel unwell (who doesn’t want to have a tantrum when sick?). However, one key principle can explain the reasoning for all these causes as well as others:
Behavior is communication.
Our society relies heavily on verbal language to communicate our internal state to others. However, despite common assumptions, communicating our needs and wants requires a complex set of different skills. Thus, behaviors serve to communicate those needs when other methods do not work effectively for an individual. Psychologists believe that behavior has four functions:
Avoidance: Behaviors help us avoid undesirable activities. For example, when someone comes up with an excuse to avoid a dreaded event, they engage in a “socially acceptable” behavior to avoid attending the event. When a child runs out of the classroom or has a tantrum when asked to complete a math worksheet, they engage in a “less desirable” form of avoidance.
Attention: Human beings are social creatures who need attention. Thus, kids will find a way to get that need met, even if it means getting “negative attention” (scolding, lecturing, getting called out in class, etc). When a child makes silly or disruptive comments during class to get a laugh from their peers, we consider their behavior attention seeking.
Getting Something: If you have a sibling, you likely have experienced them taking your things (looking at you and my calculator, Little Bro!). Thus, you also have likely had the experience of getting into an argument or a fight with your sibling to get your belonging back. The same things happen when children want something but have difficulties asking for it. For example, a kindergartener might push a classmate who has the class dump truck so they can play with it.
Sensory Regulation: We all have sensory preferences. Some of us love the feeling of a new, tight t-shirt, while others of us feel suffocated and prefer a baggy sweatshirt. Also, think about being “hangry”- when we get very hungry, many of us (myself included) have difficulties regulating ourselves. Sensory processing differences, which commonly co-occur with developmental disabilities, often exacerbates these sensory preferences and result in the desire to regulate exposure to that sensory experience. For example, a child might find loud noises extremely distressing and painful. Thus, they might hit a screaming classmate to make them stop, or they might run to their bedroom when the vacuum turns on.
Our society loves to label things as good or bad and then ascribe values to those labels. These labels run rampant in parenting circles, with common examples including “your child acts so badly” or “wow, she’s such a good kid.” However, I would like to argue that we all need to stop thinking about behaviors as “good or bad.” Instead, we need to shift our thinking to “what do you need” and “how can I help you safely get that need met?” Yes, children with disabilities often require more intensive supports around these communication needs. However, I would argue that we would benefit from this shift in mindset for all people, regardless of ability. So next time you see another person engaging in “a challenging behavior,” I encourage you to take a second and try out this new way of thinking before you respond – you might find it helps you better understand others (and perhaps even yourself).
References
Gallagher, S., Whitele, J. (2012). The association between stress and physical health in parents caring for children with intellectual disabilities is moderated by children’s challenging behaviours. Journal of Health Psychology, 18(9), 1220-1231. https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105312464672
Simó-Pinatella, D., Mumbardó-Adam, C., Montenegro-Montenegro, E. et al. (2017). Prevalence and risk markers of challenging behavior among children with disabilities. Advances in Neurodevelopmental Disorders 1, 158–167 (2017). https://doi.org/10.1007/s41252-017-0022-8
Simó-Pinatella, D., Mumbardó-Adam, C., Alomar-Kurz, E. et al. (2019). Prevalence of challenging behaviors exhibited by children with disabilities: Mapping the literature. Journal of Behavior and Education, 28, 323–343. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10864-019-09326-9
